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Moose are so big, holy shit I thought they were like deer size

holy shit I thought that was a fucking dinosaur

I kno what the heck

Welcome to Canada.


HAHA—I can’t really explain the majestic qualities of the moose, but I do have a story that further illuminates their hugeness: A friend of mine was driving down the highway up north and a moose stepped out onto road and he hit it. The moose turned its head at the last minute and its antlers went through the windshield and bent the metal frame of the entire front end of the car. My buddy was smart or lucky enough to bend down—the antlers went right over his head and the police told him he would have been severed in half. His car was DESTROYED.

The Moose just pulled its head out of the wreckage and continued on to the other side of the road like it ain’t no thing. 

IN SHORT: A moose is so big it can joust with a large automobile traveling at high speeds and dominate so completely that our only option is to worship it as a God in Canada. 


A further anecdote to illustrate how big moose are: My brother hit a moose one time while driving a small car, like a Dodge Neon type of thing. The car went UNDER THE MOOSE’S BELLY and then clipped its legs, knocking them out from under it so that it fell on the back part of the car and crushed it. The driver’s compartment was mostly undamaged, however, on account of driving under the moose.

So that is how long a moose’s legs are. Long enough to walk over a Dodge Neon.

Have I also mentioned they’re extremely belligerent and occasionally trample people to death when they’re annoyed.


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Cole aka sexiest boyfriend ever